One Simple Way to Build Trust with Your Spouse

When a small request is made in the redemptive process, there is a huge opportunity to build trust and security. Our commitment to follow through on the request with intentionality and timeliness makes all the difference. We really appreciate Jason Martinkus for supplying his thoughts for this recovery & marriage tip.


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If you and your spouse are struggling and would like help on your journey, please feel free to contact us! Or, if you’re a wife and need some extra help from another wife who’s walked through what you have, head on over to the “Support for Wives” section and shoot Tracey a message by filling out the contact form. All communication is strictly confidential.

BONUS: Leaning On Our Unshakable Hope!

Even in the midst the COVID-19 crisis going on in our world where everything seems to have been shaken, we serve a God who is unshaken! And that means we can live that way as well — when we choose to. In this video, Frank looks at Hebrews 6:19-20 for some biblical perspective on how we can live courageously in uncertain times.


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If you and your spouse are struggling and would like help on your journey, please feel free to contact us! Or, if you’re a wife and need some extra help from another wife who’s walked through what you have, head on over to the “Support for Wives” section and shoot Tracey a message by filling out the contact form. All communication is strictly confidential.

BONUS: Learning to Trust God with Life’s Toughest Questions

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In this bonus content from Pure Gold, Frank shares a recent message he preached on learning to trust God with life’s toughest questions. We all have questions in life that can either lead us towards Jesus or away from Him if we allow them to. The same is true in our recovery journeys. So many men wonder how long it will take them to recover? Why do we struggle? When will I get better? Thankfully, the Word of God helps us gain perspective when we have questions. Frank shares some thoughts from his own journey in this encouraging & challenging message. Enjoy!


If you and your spouse are struggling and would like help on your journey, please feel free to contact us! Or, if you’re a wife and need some extra help from another wife who’s walked through what you have, head on over to the “Support for Wives” section and shoot Tracey a a message by filling out the contact form. All communication is strictly confidential.

Trusting God Completely

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August 17, 1999 is my spiritual birthday. It marks a day 19 years ago that Jesus came into my life. But, truth be told, I didn’t begin walking into the light from my darkness until August of 2009. Having dealt with an addiction to pornography for 13 years of my life, I found that for many years I only “thought” that I had really given my life to Christ and began to trust him. But I hadn’t gone all the way. 

No matter the addiction or issue of the heart, choosing to trust God completely with it doesn’t come in one single decision. It comes in a series of decisions that you make on a daily basis. I discovered that it wasn’t enough to simply “claim” Jesus as my Savior. How could I “follow” Jesus and yet still be addicted to porn?! I really wasn’t ready to fully surrender because in truth, I still enjoyed my sin and didn’t want to give it up. 

Fast forward to 2009. As my decisions and behaviors began to change, I began to change. My heart began to change. One major lesson I’ve learned is that trusting God IS risky. Being vulnerable with other men IS risky. Why? Because Jesus promises us that NOTHING will be the same when our hearts, minds, and our lives are completely His. In Ephesians 4:23-24, Paul writes that we are to be “made new in the attitude of our minds” and to “put on” a new self so that we might become like God. 

As much as we like to think that we like new things in life, at the deeper core of our beings we often cherish the old things. We love what we’ve been used to. These things bring us comfort (or what we fool ourselves to think is comfort). For so many people, trusting God with their lives is terrifying. Because it means change. It means different. Trust implies more than a decision. Because if I’m going to trust God completely, it means I must do the following:

  • Let go of what’s familiar and comfortable (sin, habits, addiction, destructive behaviors, etc.)
  • Embrace the reality of grace (God can forgive you and help you with your mess!)
  • Understand that by trusting God you must begin to trust other people! 

If I were to be totally honest, I would say that I’m still learning to trust God completely on a daily basis. This also works in conjunction with how much I’m willing to trust other people as well. One last question: If I’m afraid to trust others and be vulnerable, what does that say about my ability to trust God?

While there are times it’s harder to trust God than other times, I think it’s in the most difficult moments that we harvest the greatest fruit. Our greatest harvesting tool is trust. And the fruit of trusting God is His perfect peace.

Sobriety: All I Want For Christmas

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Each year as Fall roles around many of us hear some of these questions from our spouses: “What do you want for Christmas?”, “What’s on your Christmas list?”, and “Any surprises you want from Santa this year?” Well, truth is I stopped believing in Santa a long time ago, but there is one gift that comes to mind.  I know it’s a costly gift, one that takes time, focus, energy, relentless pursuit and sacrifice….but it’s all I want for Christmas!

I’ll admit I’m your typical girl when it comes to gifts — I love jewelry, clothes, massages, candy, and flowers are always a nice touch!  Come on, who wouldn’t melt at receiving any of those gifts!  There are numerous things I could place on my Christmas list, but the one that truly melts my heart is knowing my spouse is walking in sobriety.

The greatest and most precious gift I could receive from my spouse year after year is confidence in his sobriety.  This is a gift that benefits not just me and my husband, but our children and those we minister to as well.  There is a peace, trust and security that grows with each passing day as my husband is pursuing purity and having victory.

What I love most about the gift of sobriety is that I don’t have to wait for Christmas to receive it.   It’s a year round blessing to me, one that I treasure and love being reminded of often.  As for this girl’s Christmas list, I’ll take faithfulness over flowers any day.