020: If we both enjoy watching pornography together, is it still a sin?

This week on Pure Gold, we visit a pretty controversial question in our culture today for many marriages: “If we both enjoy watching pornography together, is it still a sin” Wow! Frank shares a segment from the Fierce Marriage Podcast, hosted by Ryan & Selena Frederick. They both do a masterful job at answering this question and giving great instruction from God’s Word. Enjoy the podcast!


If you and your spouse are struggling and would like help on your journey, please feel free to contact us! Or, if you’re a wife and need some extra help from another wife who’s walked through what you have, head on over to the “Support for Wives” section and shoot Tracey a a message by filling out the contact form. All communication is strictly confidential.

018: Celebrating the Life of Dr. Mark Laaser

In this special episode of Pure Gold, we honor the life of Dr. Mark Laaser, one of the early pioneers in the field of sexual addiction & recovery. Dr. Laaser passed away early on the morning of September 27, 2019 after a long battle with myeloma cancer. His life & legacy is nothing short of amazing and while I didn’t know him personally, I did have the chance to interview him for the podcast in 2014. I share my thoughts of Dr. Laaser as well as the interview I did with him regarding his book, “Taking Every Thought Captive”.

Mark — we will miss you, but we thank God for your life and for the thousands of lives your ministry touched on this earth. Friends, enjoy the podcast.


If you and your spouse are struggling and would like help on your journey, please feel free to contact us! Or, if you’re a wife and need some extra help from another wife who’s walked through what you have, head on over to the “Support for Wives” section and shoot Tracey a a message by filling out the contact form. All communication is strictly confidential.

Video: Can a person stop looking at porn but still be an addict?

Can a person stop looking at porn but still be an addict?

I love this question and have encountered it many times in my work with men throughout the years. One of the purity coaches I most respect is Michael Leahy, founder & CEO of BraveHearts, a faith-based, non-profit ministry, whose mission has been to lead people to freedom from sexual sin and sex addiction through a growing relationship with Jesus Christ.

Recently, someone asked Michael this question:

“Can you define terms you use like slip, minor slip, relapse? If I have been successful in stopping porn use but unsuccessful in stopping acting out behaviors, how do I discern where I am at?”

I really loved his answer to the question. It’s both helpful and specific but really gets to the heart of the writer’s question. Listen to his answer below:

Source: BraveHearts

2 Reasons NOT to Watch Game Of Thrones

There’s been a lot of talk lately about “Game Of Thrones”, a popular TV show airing on HBO for the last several years. The series seems to be reaching it’s conclusion with a MASSIVE fan base to go along with it.

Let me be clear: I’ve never watched the show personally. Nor would I ever watch it. Why?

From the reviews I’ve read, GOT has some of the most hardcore, outrageous sexually explicit content on air today. For this reason alone I refuse to watch it. Why would I ever want to compromise character, integrity, morals, & convictions simply because of the “story” or “adventure” this show takes you through???

I really appreciatewhat spaker, blogger, and podcaster Matt Fradd has to say about this show in offering two reasons NOT to watch Game Of Thrones! Hope it’s encouraging to you too.

 

21 Lies Porn Uses to Keep You in Bondage

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Certain people have a tell-tale sign that makes it easy to recognize when they’re lying: their lips are moving.

In other words, some folks lie continuously. If their mouth is open and producing sound, it is the sound of deception.

They might lie to get out of trouble. They might lie because they are trying to tell you what they think you want to hear–or what they think will get you to do what they want. Or they might lie simply because they don’t want to have to stop and discern the truth before speaking. Just loosening their jaw and letting words fall out seems so much easier.

Pornography is a liar. Only it doesn’t even have to move its lips. Yet, it’s always lying. 24-7. 365 days a year. 366 days on leap years.

But I have found that recognizing some of the many lies porn tries to sell me has grown in my heart a deep distaste for it–mostly because I’ve come to recognize how much porn detests me.

You may know or even care deeply for someone for whom lies have become a way of life. They don’t mean any harm–certainly not towards you. They just can’t seem to help it. Some folks have lived in deceit so long, they probably don’t even know what the truth is anymore.

This is not the case with porn. Porn has an agenda, and it includes your destruction. Total destruction. Further, when you consider its many lies head-on, I hope it helps you to resist its deceptive allure, the same way it has for me.

21 Lies Porn Uses to Keep You in Bondage

See if you recognize any of these lies porn uses.

Porn says, “Live your fantasies.” But that, of course, is impossible. That’s why they’re called fantasies.

Porn says, “Let me take your mind off all of that,” as it takes over your mind.

Porn says, “I think we’re alone now.” But by “we” it means just you.

Porn says, “It’s not that bad.” But how bad is it?

Porn says, “Everyone’s doing it,” as you hide it from everyone.

Porn says, “Let’s have some fun!” But the joke’s on you.

Porn says, “I know how you feel,” as it deadens your ability to feel.”

Porn says, “I’m here for your pleasure.” But no one’s there. Except you. Pleasuring yourself. Alone.

Porn says, “I can make your dreams come true,” but there’s nothing true about it. Except the nightmare of addiction.

Porn says, “No one will find out,” as if you aren’t someone.

Porn says, “Take me,” as it takes you.

Porn says, “Help yourself,” as you hurt yourself.

Porn says, “Give yourself a break,” as it breaks you.

Porn says, “Don’t worry,” but if it wasn’t wrong you wouldn’t have to.

Porn says, “I’m yours,” but nobody’s really there.

Porn says, “No one’s watching,” but the problem has to do with what YOU are watching.

Porn says, “I’m here whenever you need me.” But when you’re done, your need remains.

Porn says, “Satisfy your lust,” but by definition lust can never be satisfied.

Porn says, “I can give you a release,” while it holds you in the bondage of addiction.

Porn says, “I’ll make it all better,” but in the end it will leave you bitter.

Porn says, “Just live in the moment,” but afterward you’re deleting your history and then desiring your next hit.

Don’t be fooled by porn. It’s lying to you. Even if its lips aren’t moving. And, as you can see from the lies above, there’s a method to its madness. Which means you need a method to your sanity. You need a plan to defeat the lies of porn with the truth of who you are and why you’re here.

That’s why Covenant Eyes exists, not merely to help you see through the lies porn is telling you, but to enable you to live a life of freedom and integrity. Learn more about how porn rewires your brain and what you can do about it by downloading their free e-book Your Brain on Porn.

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