What Do You Want From Your Recovery In 2021? (BLOG)

If I were to ask you to make a wish list of your top five destinations you’d love to travel to in the entire world,  what would they be? Or what about a bucket list of ten or twenty things you’d like to do in your lifetime? No doubt many of you have already had those dreams.

Here’s a question: What do you want from your recovery in 2021? If I were to ask you to envision what kind of person you’d like to be on December 31, 2021, what kind of person would that be?

I really believe every year around this time we should be looking in two directions: backwards at the previous year we just walked through and forwards towards the new year. How have we grown? What lessons have we learned? Perhaps even a couple harder questions: Where have we struggled? Where have we declined in our progress?

But even more importantly, WHO do you want to become in 2021? No matter what 2020 was like, we need to press forward with the constant desire to get better. To heal more. To grow more. Remember that any mistakes you made this past year doesn’t discount all the progress you made. You’re not starting over from scratch. You have to keep moving.

No matter if you’re in your first year of recovery or your twentieth, there’s something you can do to get better. Consider your progress in the following areas and ask yourself where you can be strengthened:

  1. Community — Are you in a weekly small group or support group with others who share similar struggles that you have? There’s an element of healing that can only take place with other people by your side. Small Groups Online offers an excellent opportunity for you to find such a group.
  2. Accountability — Have you sought out 2-3 individuals in which you’re communicating with on a daily basis? As I’ve always stated, these need to be safe and healthy individuals who care about your heart. People who are spiritually mature and will be able to ask you the hard questions.
  3. Access — What does your access to the internet and social media look like? Is the door wide open or do you have specific software set up on your devices to guard you from sexually explicit content and/or things that would trigger you to act out? There are so many great solutions out there including Ever Accountable, which I would highly recommend.
  4. Heart — Last, and certainly the greatest as it relates to work you can be doing on your own: Are you actively taking care of your heart by giving it healthy outlets to process painful emotions and experiences? Have you discovered what specific triggers you have and what causes you to act out? Keeping the pulse on your heart should always be a priority.

Here’s the bottom line: Once you stop learning, you stop growing. I can remember the kind of person I was eleven years ago. And I never want to go back to being him again. I’ve worked too hard. Grown too much. Traveled too far.

2021 has the potential to be your greatest year yet! But it first requires a vision of where you want to be at the end of it. You’ll have all year to work at it, make progress, fall down, and get back up again. I’m so thankful for the grace that awaits us in 2021. 

As mentioned earlier, if you’re looking for an authentic community to share your struggles with, look no further than Small Groups Online. SGO is an incredible opportunity for you to meet others who are struggling the same way you are. It promises a safe and healthy atmosphere. Through communication with others in the group about your addiction, you will find a renewed sense of courage spring up in you to become a person of sexual integrity.

Check out Small Groups Online today!

Even the Simple Things

“An understanding that even the simple things we do behind closed doors impact the lives of others.” (“Kindness Boomerang: How to Save the World (and Yourself) Through 365 Daily Acts” by Orly Wahba)

This is a massive statement. My character is everything. My integrity means infinitely more than I can ever imagine. Even the simple things…like our thoughts, our motivations, our desires – the things we would consider to be so small are so monumental according to our Father in Heaven. It all matters.

I’m more convinced of this today as a husband and father of two than I ever have been. I’m thankful for the Holy Spirit who convicts when necessary and comforts constantly. I’m thankful for the Son, Jesus, who is an ever present reminder that the right choice can be made no matter what, and I’m ultimately thankful for a Father who never stopped chasing His children, even when they were at their worst.

“Because of my integrity you uphold me and set me in your presence forever.” – Psalm‬ ‭41:12‬ ‭NIV‬‬

017: What to Do When You Hit the Wall

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This week on the podcast, Frank shares a purity tip on what to do when you reach that point in the week where your tank is empty and you need to be re-filled. We all get there! A crazy week at work, the beautiful demands of family, and of course the circumstances that arise throughout the week that we didn’t predict. Life happens and we get tired. That’s the reality. But we don’t have to stay there and there are some really important things we can do for our soul to get refreshed. Praying this tip encourages you this week! Blessings!


If you and your spouse are struggling and would like help on your journey, please feel free to contact us! Or, if you’re a wife and need some extra help from another wife who’s walked through what you have, head on over to the “Support for Wives” section and shoot Tracey a a message by filling out the contact form. All communication is strictly confidential.

BONUS: Agreements – Releasing the Lies We’ve Believed in Life

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In this bonus content from Pure Gold, Frank shares a talk he gave recently on the power of agreements — subtle lies that come into our heart & mind that we might believe about ourselves, others, and even God. Agreements can take a strong hold of our lives if we’re not careful. How do we break agreements? Don’t miss this one!


If you and your spouse are struggling and would like help on your journey, please feel free to contact us! Or, if you’re a wife and need some extra help from another wife who’s walked through what you have, head on over to the “Support for Wives” section and shoot Tracey a a message by filling out the contact form. All communication is strictly confidential.

002: Why Sexual Purity Matters

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Pure Gold is back this week with perhaps the most important question we’ve ever asked: “Why does sexual purity matter?” Frank attempts to unpack this question, give Scriptural backing, and shares an incredible article from Moral Revolution, “10 Lies We Believe About Sexual Purity”. If you’re questioning whether the journey for sexual purity is worth it or not, please listen &/or watch this episode!

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If you and your spouse are struggling and would like help on your journey, please feel free to contact us! Or, if you’re a wife and need some extra help from another wife who’s walked through what you have, head on over to the “Support for Wives” section and shoot Tracey a a message by filling out the contact form. All communication is strictly confidential.