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Marriage and Masturbation

I recently read a brilliant article on the negative effects that masturbation has within marriage. Thank you to Marriage Today and Dave Willis for providing such truthful insight for married folks AND single folks. Great read!!!


In marriage, sex and honesty are like two wings on the same bird. You need both for your marriage to soar.

My wife Ashley and I recently wrote a book called The Naked Marriage which is designed to spark some very honest and intimate conversations between a husband and wife that can help them improve their sex life and all other aspects of their marriage too. We’ve found that one issue in marriage that needs greater honesty and clarity in marriage is the issue of MASTURBATION. Is it helpful? Is it wrong? Is it harmless? I believe these questions about masturbation are more important than many people realize.

As an important clarification, when I say “masturbation,” for the purposes of this article, I’m NOT referring to the self-stimulation or sexual play that happens during foreplay or intercourse with your spouse. Those can be just a fun part of sex between a husband and wife. When I’m referring to masturbation, I’m talking specifically about someone pleasuring himself or herself to the point of climax when NOT in the presence of his or her spouse.

Here are three reasons you may have never considered why masturbation can negatively impact your marriage…

1. It can negatively impact the sexual intimacy, performance and pleasure with your spouse.

We receive a lot of emails and messages from frustrated wives whose husbands have lost their drive for sex because they’re “taking care of it all on their own.” Men, when you choose to masturbate, you may be gaining momentary pleasure, but it’s happening at the expense of your wife’s needs and desires and you’re also missing out! This doesn’t impact men’s masturbation only. Ladies, a recent article in Women’s Health Magazine pointed out that some women are experiencing what they call “Dead Vagina” which is a numbness in the genitals caused from excessive manual stimulation (mostly from vibrators). This is making intercourse with their husbands much less enjoyable and much less frequent. Never let the substitute sabotage the real thing!


Go here to read the rest of this article from Marriage Today and Dave Willis.

Video

How Honest Can I Be In Recovery?

When we step into our recovery journey, we learn a lot about ourselves and how we’ve numbed out to life’s pain/trauma. Often, we struggle to know how much we can or should share with others about our recovery journey. Rodney Wright joins us to speak about how honest we should be in our recovery?

To hear the full episode: puredesire.org/relationships-recovery



Source: Pure Desires Ministries

8 Practical Tips To Quit Masturbating

xxxchurch-8-Practical-Tips-To-Quit-Masturbating-1Quitting masturbation isn’t easy–even veterans still have challenges in this area. But it is a battle you can win.

Here are some practical ideas that have helped me:

1. Have Healthy Outlets

Masturbators are energetic, creative, and passionate people who have a lot to offer. Find healthy places where you can take that energy and put it to good use.

2. Deal with the Undercurrent

Masturbation is not really about the behavior–it’s about medicating pain and trying to satisfy unmet needs in your life. Take a deep breath and go below the surface to find out WHY you’re masturbating. An X3Group will help. So will a counselor.

3. Start Writing and Keep Writing 

This may sound crazy, but writing in a notebook or journal is a healthy outlet to get your “stuff” out. Write out your anger. Write out your feelings. Use it as a way to talk it out–both to yourself and to God.

4. Get a Strategy for Your Alone Time 

Alone time and boredom can lead to masturbation, simply because you just have nothing else to do, so try to stay busy. Fill up your calendar. Go to bed tired.

5. Get a Media Strategy While You’re At It 

Attack the source. Set up roadblocks. Consider a program like X3watch for your computer. Consider some filtering for your TV or a password. Restrict the sources of temptation.

6. You Need a Buddy 

Find someone you can talk to about your struggles, someone you can trust and who will keep confidence. What I’m talking about here is accountability. This person may have to be a counselor or a minister. Again, an X3Group is a great place to start.

7. Realize It’s a Process 

You didn’t become addicted overnight; you won’t get free overnight, either. Sobriety happens one day at a time, one meeting at a time, one breakthrough at a time. An X3Group will help you stay strong during this process.

8. Pray, Then Pray Some More 

You probably have prayed God would take your masturbation away. A better prayer might be, “God, help me have a change of heart. Help me deal with the deep stuff. Help me find better outlets. Help me find a way to talk my stuff out with someone.”

Got more practical ways to quit masturbating? Leave them in the comments below.


Source: XXXchurch