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Marriage and Masturbation

I recently read a brilliant article on the negative effects that masturbation has within marriage. Thank you to Marriage Today and Dave Willis for providing such truthful insight for married folks AND single folks. Great read!!!


In marriage, sex and honesty are like two wings on the same bird. You need both for your marriage to soar.

My wife Ashley and I recently wrote a book called The Naked Marriage which is designed to spark some very honest and intimate conversations between a husband and wife that can help them improve their sex life and all other aspects of their marriage too. We’ve found that one issue in marriage that needs greater honesty and clarity in marriage is the issue of MASTURBATION. Is it helpful? Is it wrong? Is it harmless? I believe these questions about masturbation are more important than many people realize.

As an important clarification, when I say “masturbation,” for the purposes of this article, I’m NOT referring to the self-stimulation or sexual play that happens during foreplay or intercourse with your spouse. Those can be just a fun part of sex between a husband and wife. When I’m referring to masturbation, I’m talking specifically about someone pleasuring himself or herself to the point of climax when NOT in the presence of his or her spouse.

Here are three reasons you may have never considered why masturbation can negatively impact your marriage…

1. It can negatively impact the sexual intimacy, performance and pleasure with your spouse.

We receive a lot of emails and messages from frustrated wives whose husbands have lost their drive for sex because they’re “taking care of it all on their own.” Men, when you choose to masturbate, you may be gaining momentary pleasure, but it’s happening at the expense of your wife’s needs and desires and you’re also missing out! This doesn’t impact men’s masturbation only. Ladies, a recent article in Women’s Health Magazine pointed out that some women are experiencing what they call “Dead Vagina” which is a numbness in the genitals caused from excessive manual stimulation (mostly from vibrators). This is making intercourse with their husbands much less enjoyable and much less frequent. Never let the substitute sabotage the real thing!


Go here to read the rest of this article from Marriage Today and Dave Willis.

One Simple Way to Build Trust with Your Spouse

When a small request is made in the redemptive process, there is a huge opportunity to build trust and security. Our commitment to follow through on the request with intentionality and timeliness makes all the difference. We really appreciate Jason Martinkus for supplying his thoughts for this recovery & marriage tip.


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If you and your spouse are struggling and would like help on your journey, please feel free to contact us! Or, if you’re a wife and need some extra help from another wife who’s walked through what you have, head on over to the “Support for Wives” section and shoot Tracey a message by filling out the contact form. All communication is strictly confidential.

How Sex Addiction Can Destroy Your Marriage

This week on the podcast, we’re re-releasing what is potentially the all-time most popular podcast since the start of our ministry, Purity For Life. Sex addiction is devastating in a person’s life. And it has many consequences that can potentially spill over and affect the people closest to him or her. Our marriage almost ended before it even got started because of my addiction to pornography. But as you’ll hear in this episode, not only did our marriage go through great pain, ultimately it went through great healing because I (Frank) stopped hiding and sought help. Tracey & I pray, out of all of our podcasts to date, that this one will bless you and help you to find the same healing we did in our marriage.


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If you and your spouse are struggling and would like help on your journey, please feel free to contact us! Or, if you’re a wife and need some extra help from another wife who’s walked through what you have, head on over to the “Support for Wives” section and shoot Tracey a message by filling out the contact form. All communication is strictly confidential.

020: If we both enjoy watching pornography together, is it still a sin?

This week on Pure Gold, we visit a pretty controversial question in our culture today for many marriages: “If we both enjoy watching pornography together, is it still a sin” Wow! Frank shares a segment from the Fierce Marriage Podcast, hosted by Ryan & Selena Frederick. They both do a masterful job at answering this question and giving great instruction from God’s Word. Enjoy the podcast!


If you and your spouse are struggling and would like help on your journey, please feel free to contact us! Or, if you’re a wife and need some extra help from another wife who’s walked through what you have, head on over to the “Support for Wives” section and shoot Tracey a a message by filling out the contact form. All communication is strictly confidential.

015: Dishonesty Will Destroy Your Marriage

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My point of brokenness occurred when my wife (fiance at the time) took her engagement ring off and slid it across the table and said: “I won’t marry you”. It was as if the Lord was saying: “You’ve nearly destroyed your life, I won’t allow you to destroy my daughter’s life.” Dishonesty is a destroyer of marriage. The moment you stop being honest with your spouse is the moment you have given up on your marriage. This week, Frank shares from his own life what it took to come out of addiction and into freedom. Also, what is temptation really? Should we be worried or concerned when we’re tempted?


If you and your spouse are struggling and would like help on your journey, please feel free to contact us! Or, if you’re a wife and need some extra help from another wife who’s walked through what you have, head on over to the “Support for Wives” section and shoot Tracey a a message by filling out the contact form. All communication is strictly confidential.