Coming from an addiction, it’s really hard to be honest. To be real. To be vulnerable. We’ve become used to wearing masks and putting on a facade so no one can see inside to what is real. But the reality is that God can see through any mask we try to put on. So why should we be afraid of what man thinks of us? One of my favorite singers & song writers, Brian Johnson, shared in this humorous, yet truthful video about the importance of vulnerability. Enjoy!
Certain people have a tell-tale sign that makes it easy to recognize when they’re lying: their lips are moving.
In other words, some folks lie continuously. If their mouth is open and producing sound, it is the sound of deception.
They might lie to get out of trouble. They might lie because they are trying to tell you what they think you want to hear–or what they think will get you to do what they want. Or they might lie simply because they don’t want to have to stop and discern the truth before speaking. Just loosening their jaw and letting words fall out seems so much easier.
Pornography is a liar. Only it doesn’t even have to move its lips. Yet, it’s always lying. 24-7. 365 days a year. 366 days on leap years.
But I have found that recognizing some of the many lies porn tries to sell me has grown in my heart a deep distaste for it–mostly because I’ve come to recognize how much porn detests me.
You may know or even care deeply for someone for whom lies have become a way of life. They don’t mean any harm–certainly not towards you. They just can’t seem to help it. Some folks have lived in deceit so long, they probably don’t even know what the truth is anymore.
This is not the case with porn. Porn has an agenda, and it includes your destruction. Total destruction. Further, when you consider its many lies head-on, I hope it helps you to resist its deceptive allure, the same way it has for me.
21 Lies Porn Uses to Keep You in Bondage
See if you recognize any of these lies porn uses.
Porn says, “Live your fantasies.” But that, of course, is impossible. That’s why they’re called fantasies.
Porn says, “Let me take your mind off all of that,” as it takes over your mind.
Porn says, “I think we’re alone now.” But by “we” it means just you.
Porn says, “It’s not that bad.” But how bad is it?
Porn says, “Everyone’s doing it,” as you hide it from everyone.
Porn says, “Let’s have some fun!” But the joke’s on you.
Porn says, “I know how you feel,” as it deadens your ability to feel.”
Porn says, “I’m here for your pleasure.” But no one’s there. Except you. Pleasuring yourself. Alone.
Porn says, “I can make your dreams come true,” but there’s nothing true about it. Except the nightmare of addiction.
Porn says, “No one will find out,” as if you aren’t someone.
Porn says, “Take me,” as it takes you.
Porn says, “Help yourself,” as you hurt yourself.
Porn says, “Give yourself a break,” as it breaks you.
Porn says, “Don’t worry,” but if it wasn’t wrong you wouldn’t have to.
Porn says, “I’m yours,” but nobody’s really there.
Porn says, “No one’s watching,” but the problem has to do with what YOU are watching.
Porn says, “I’m here whenever you need me.” But when you’re done, your need remains.
Porn says, “Satisfy your lust,” but by definition lust can never be satisfied.
Porn says, “I can give you a release,” while it holds you in the bondage of addiction.
Porn says, “I’ll make it all better,” but in the end it will leave you bitter.
Porn says, “Just live in the moment,” but afterward you’re deleting your history and then desiring your next hit.
Don’t be fooled by porn. It’s lying to you. Even if its lips aren’t moving. And, as you can see from the lies above, there’s a method to its madness. Which means you need a method to your sanity. You need a plan to defeat the lies of porn with the truth of who you are and why you’re here.
That’s why Covenant Eyes exists, not merely to help you see through the lies porn is telling you, but to enable you to live a life of freedom and integrity. Learn more about how porn rewires your brain and what you can do about it by downloading their free e-book Your Brain on Porn.
Thinking back on my days of active addiction, I remember what isolation felt like. It an odd sort of way, it felt safe. Secure. I was hidden from a world of judgement. No one knew about the sexually explicit material that I consumed. I was hidden (or at least I thought so) from dealing with the harsh realities of pain and the insecurities I felt about myself.
Little did I know for 13 years that all of this only fueled my addiction to pornography and kept me trapped. And there are so many today that live in that same sense of isolation — their stories waiting to be heard but only being buried down deeper and deeper. Friend – what feels like safety to you is actually pulling you further and further away from life. From love. From freedom. From health.
But as deep as you’re trying to bury yourself and hide yourself — hope is still within reach.
IF. YOU. WANT. IT.
Emerging from isolation is probably harder to face than even the addiction itself. The shame is so great. The fear is monumental. And yet, hope is still alive.
You can find hope, help, and healing for your journey at Purity For Life. There’s TONS of resources from podcasts to articles to videos here on the website that are meant to help you live with sexual integrity through Jesus Christ.
Welcome to the journey.
In this bonus content from Pure Gold, Frank shares a talk he gave recently on the power of agreements — subtle lies that come into our heart & mind that we might believe about ourselves, others, and even God. Agreements can take a strong hold of our lives if we’re not careful. How do we break agreements? Don’t miss this one!
If you and your spouse are struggling and would like help on your journey, please feel free to contact us! Or, if you’re a wife and need some extra help from another wife who’s walked through what you have, head on over to the “Support for Wives” section and shoot Tracey a a message by filling out the contact form. All communication is strictly confidential.
Overcoming sex addiction was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. At 26 years old, I faced the greatest ultimatum I was ever given: Start dealing with my porn addiction OR lose my fiancée (soon to be wife) forever. Perhaps that sounds extreme, but for me, it was a breaking point. Five years later, I believe that was the first day that I ever really listened to the truth.
Sex addicts have so much to overcome in the process of recovery. So often, it seems overwhelming. Behaviors must change and so do mindsets. As a matter of fact, I believe choosing the truth over the lies could be harder to change than merely the behavior itself. And for those struggling with a sex addiction, there are many lies one is tempted to believe. The following are just a few of those lies (in no particular order)…
Read the rest of this post here.