Facing the Giant of Addiction

We’re really excited to be able to share this video Frank recorded recently for the Church. In this video, Frank talks specifically to the Church about what addiction is and how we can find healing from compulsive sexual behavior. He also shares his story from addiction into recovery. We hope you are encouraged by this message!



If you and your spouse are struggling and would like help on your journey, please feel free to contact us! Or, if you’re a wife and need some extra help from another wife who’s walked through what you have, head on over to the “Support for Wives” section and shoot Tracey a message by filling out the contact form. All communication is strictly confidential.

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Are You Doing Accountability The Wrong Way?

Has someone talked to you about the importance of community recently?

How about the value of vulnerability?

I bet you’ve seen content on both subjects at least once in the last six months.

Interestingly enough – science has shown the percentage of people in this world without ANY confidants (not even one) has doubled in the last 20 years. Somehow, loneliness is on the rise. 

I talk to men regularly who struggle with pornography.

Each of their stories is unique, but one thing remains the same. 

The man has felt or currently feels lonely without fail. 

Then I ask… what have you done about it?

The answer usually includes one of the following:

-They told a trusted leader and never followed up with them

-No one in their friend circle can be trusted with the details of their struggle

-Tried an accountability partner system and it’s not working

All of these experiences can cause a lot of frustration, but I have a particular bone to pick about the accountability partner system that is so commonly preached.

Almost every guy I talk to that is looking to get free of porn has tried a form of accountability at some point.

Here are some examples:

  • A client of mine attended a workshop on freedom from lust and sexual sin. In the end, he was matched up with a stranger to be his accountability partner. They texted back and forth for about three weeks and haven’t communicated since.
  • A university student asked a respected leader in his community to be his accountability partner. The arrangement? He would text him after he watched porn and ask for prayer. The leader would write back, “praying for you!” This lasted for about three months. 
  • A friend created a penalty system. Every time he looked at porn, he had to give a $500 donation to a charitable organization! 

The upsetting part is that accountability is a good thing! When it’s done properly, it can be so helpful. But most of the systems out there are so lackluster that they usually make the problem much worse. 

Here are a few common mistakes that I see a lot of men making when it comes to accountability.


Source: XXXchurch

Porn is the Fruit, Hurt is the Root

For years, we’ve been sharing the importance of understanding the “why’s” behind addiction. Until we do that, we can never be truly free from our struggles. In this bonus segment, Frank shares a recent post from X3church and the importance of understanding what’s underneath compulsive porn use.


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AUDIO:


If you and your spouse are struggling and would like help on your journey, please feel free to contact us! Or, if you’re a wife and need some extra help from another wife who’s walked through what you have, head on over to the “Support for Wives” section and shoot Tracey a message by filling out the contact form. All communication is strictly confidential.

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NEWS: Join the Live Free Community!

One of the core truths of recovery is learning that you can’t get better by yourself. And you never will…ON YOUR OWN. We need people and were designed to be in relationship and community with other safe, healthy people. Especially as we recovery from life-controlling addictions.

Purity For Life is proud to partner with and incredible online ministry called Live Free. Live Free is a private community for men seeking freedom from porn and lust. The ministry exists in the form of an app you can download on your phone which connects you instantly with a community of people who also struggle with pornography and other sexual addictions. Here you can ask questions, share struggles, and receive encouragement for the journey that you’re on.

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But it goes further than that. You can also choose to sign up for a weekly group meeting where the community goes deeper. Each week, you’ll have the opportunity to share openly and talk with other men face to face in a live Zoom call led by a trained group leader.

There are very few ministries, if any, that offer this kind of quality community experience in such a private, secure way. To learn more about how you can get started in a support group or even just get connected with the app, check out Live Free today!

BONUS: Are You Abiding?

In this bonus segment form the Pure Gold podcast, Frank shares about the importance of staying connected to and abiding in the One who created us in order to see long-term success in our recovery journeys. Abiding in Christ is an ongoing, daily activity that must take place in order to find freedom and healing from sexual addiction. You can do it! We hope you enjoy this podcast!



If you and your spouse are struggling and would like help on your journey, please feel free to contact us! Or, if you’re a wife and need some extra help from another wife who’s walked through what you have, head on over to the “Support for Wives” section and shoot Tracey a a message by filling out the contact form. All communication is strictly confidential.