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Blog Discipleship Marriage Podcasts Resources Sexual Purity

014: The Truth About Transparency

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Transparency in recovery means you’re completely honest with your spouse, doesn’t it? What do you really share with them? How far do you go in explaining to them how you struggle? This week, Frank & Tracey both attempt to address these questions and more as they talk from their own personal experience of addiction & recovery journeys. Husbands AND wives: You don’t want to miss this episode.


If you and your spouse are struggling and would like help on your journey, please feel free to contact us! Or, if you’re a wife and need some extra help from another wife who’s walked through what you have, head on over to the “Support for Wives” section and shoot Tracey a a message by filling out the contact form. All communication is strictly confidential.

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Blog Marriage Podcasts Resources Sexual Purity

013: 3 Steps to Take BEFORE Talking to Your Spouse about Your Addiction

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This week, we continue our conversation from episode three on how we talk to our spouses about our addictions. There are three specific steps we need to begin taking before that conversation happens. Frank shares those three steps & why it’s so important to be completely honest with your spouse about your addiction. Enjoy the podcast!


If you and your spouse are struggling and would like help on your journey, please feel free to contact us! Or, if you’re a wife and need some extra help from another wife who’s walked through what you have, head on over to the “Support for Wives” section and shoot Tracey a a message by filling out the contact form. All communication is strictly confidential.

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Blog Podcasts Resources Sexual Purity

003: How do I talk to my wife about my addiction?

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This week, Frank and Tracey help answer a question from a man who’s getting ready to get married and wants to know how to talk to his (soon to be) wife about his addiction & his recovery? What does that conversation look like and how often should it take place? This is a super important question you don’t want to miss the answer to! Enjoy!


Show Notes:

  • What is FANOS? Click here to find out how this simple conversation tool can transform your marriage.

If you and your spouse are struggling and would like help on your journey, please feel free to contact us! Or, if you’re a wife and need some extra help from another wife who’s walked through what you have, head on over to the “Support for Wives” section and shoot Tracey a a message by filling out the contact form. All communication is strictly confidential.

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Blog Resources Sexual Purity

Purity Tip: Honesty Breeds Integrity

Honesty Breeds Integrity. EVERY TIME. Don’t be that guy who gets defensive when your wife wants to look through your phone or check your Facebook account. We should never live as though there’s something to hide…because if we really love our spouses we’ll have nothing to hide.

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Blog Marriage Resources Sexual Purity

This Conversation Tool Will Transform Your Marriage

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One of the greatest things I cherish about my relationship with my wife is our commitment to complete honesty. Believe it or not, this is a characteristic that didn’t come instantly on day one of marriage.  It’s one that’s been cultivated over the last 9 years.  And I believe each and every day, it’s gotten better. But it’s only gotten better because Tracey & I have practiced. And as one person I heard revise the classic quote, “Practice doesn’t make perfect, practice makes permanent.”

One method in particular that’s really been helpful for us came from a counselor friend of ours (the same guy who initially helped me out of my sexual addiction). It’s called FANOS. It’s an acronym that stands for Feelings, Affirmation, Needs, Ownership, & Sobriety. In addition to our normal conversation each day, once a week we’ll have a more intentional check-in time with each other where we have a chance to go much deeper. Note: This is usually done when there is no kids around! 🙂 We each go back and forth sharing on each letter of the acronym. Let’s briefly break down each word:

  • F – Feelings: How am I feeling this week? (emotionally, physically, spiritually, relationally etc.) This is a huge one so don’t skim over it. Go deep here.
  • A – Affirmation: What ways can I possibly encourage my wife this week? How can I speak to her as a wife, mother, daughter of God? Speak life to your wife.
  • N – Needs: What needs do I have from her (again emotionally, physically, spiritually, sexually, etc.)? Again, this is an important one so don’t just think “more sex, please” on this one. Be real.
  • O – Ownership: What can I take ownership of this week that I’m not doing so well in? Guys, we should have plenty to express here! As a husband, dad, worker, whatever, what are areas that you can grow in?
  • S – Sobriety: How is my sobriety going this week? This question is typically only for you so be honest. If there were slips, confess them. If there was growth, share it. Don’t leave anything out on this one. Details are important.

I love this model for communication with my wife.  We practiced it early on in my recovery journey and have just recently come back to it for a model of conversation. I pray that it’s helpful to you as well as you grow in oneness with the man or woman God has given you!