It’s Time to Take the Dad Challenge

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There are always things we need to improve on as parents, but before I get to that I want to talk about what we’re doing right. Parents are doing a lot of things right these days, something we may not hear a lot. Fathers in particular have improved in their parenting skills in the last 50 years, and this is something to celebrate.

Dads Are Giving More Time

Before we talk about what needs improvement, it is only fair to point out how much modern fathers are doing right. Dads spend way more time with their kids than they used to, taking time out with individual children even from the time a child is born. It is a very common sight in my neighborhood to see a young father pushing a baby or toddler in a stroller, no wife in sight. When I was a kid, I never saw a father pushing a baby stroller, alone or with his wife.

Both parents give more time to their children than in recent generations, but while mothers have approximately doubled the amount of time they spend with children in the last 50 years, fathers have nearly quadrupled the amount of time they spend with their own kids.¹ Mothers still spend more time with their kids than dads, but dads would win the prize for “most improved.”

Dads Are Giving More Depth

Fathers are also willing to be much more open with their children than our own fathers or grandfathers were. Fathers are much more likely today to talk about their feelings with their children and ask their children about their feelings. Dads admit failure in front of their kids. Dads talk with their kids about all kinds of things that most dads in the past would never be open about. Except one thing, which is the problem I’m addressing today.

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6 Ways to Raise a Sex Addict

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In my seven years of counseling sex addicts and their wives, I’ve seen some common themes amongst the sex addicts’ families of origin. I’d like to share them with you today. Here are six ways to raise a sex addict.

In the chance that you’d rather focus on raising your child to live a life of sexual purity, I’ve included a link at the end of each of my six points so you can quickly access an alternative approach.

Create a home environment where emotions are not openly expressed.

Teach your kids that expressing feelings–such as fear, sadness, and insecurity–is weak. Sex addicts do not know how to appropriately express emotion which is why sex addiction is often called an intimacy disorder.

A great way to emotionally stunt your sons is to teach them that real men don’t cry. This will ensure that they learn to really bottle up those normal, healthy emotions. Instead their emotions may come out as anger, pushing away people who get too close.

Finally, avoiding conflict by always pretending everything is ok teaches kids to do the same. What to do with all the bottled up frustration? Don’t try to have a healthy discussion about it with the person who upset you. Escape the pain. Numb the feelings.

Instead of encouraging your kids to stuff their emotions, create a home of trust and openness.

You can read the rest of the article here.