023: Goodbye Shame, Hello Honor

If you’ve walked through addiction long enough, you know that shame is a very real part of your life. It tries to convince a person they are worthless and hold no value. This is exactly what the enemy wants us to think, even though we know the opposite is true. Even though you are addicted, you are still loved and worthy of redemption and restoration. On this week’s podcast, Frank shares a letter from one of his recovery guys where he addresses the topic shame and honor in the of a recovering sex addict. We hope the truth shared in this podcast will help you find freedom in your life! Enjoy the podcast!




If you and your spouse are struggling and would like help on your journey, please feel free to contact us! Or, if you’re a wife and need some extra help from another wife who’s walked through what you have, head on over to the “Support for Wives” section and shoot Tracey a a message by filling out the contact form. All communication is strictly confidential.

BONUS: All In or Nothing At All

In this bonus segment from Pure Gold, Frank shares about the necessity of being all in or all out when it comes to our recovery journeys. If we want to thrive and become the people that God wants us to be, we must lay it all on the table and do whatever it takes. Enjoy the podcast!



If you and your spouse are struggling and would like help on your journey, please feel free to contact us! Or, if you’re a wife and need some extra help from another wife who’s walked through what you have, head on over to the “Support for Wives” section and shoot Tracey a a message by filling out the contact form. All communication is strictly confidential.

Is Porn Addiction in the Church Getting Worse?

The short answer: Yes.

Countless articles and blogs have been written on this subject over the years with numerous suggestions on why this could be happening. I’ve found one of those suggestions to be most satisfying and perhaps most accurate:

THE CHURCH ISN’T TALKING ABOUT SEXUAL ADDICTION.

I could probably end this article with that last statement and that be a stark reminder, but if we’ve come to the realization that the Church isn’t talking about the reality and effects of porn addiction, WHY aren’t things changing?

Recently, XXXchurch released a mind-blowing stat: (see below)

Yes, you read it correctly…70%. Let that number soak in for a while. 7 out of every 20 people are (most likely) secretly struggling with pornography, sexual fantasy, and other related compulsive behaviors. My heart breaks as I don’t ever remember the number being this high before.

Which brings me back to my earlier point. What if this number were to go down if we were to simply start having the conversation IN the church, and yes, IN the pulpit about this incredibly destructive epidemic in our society? Yes, I know there are churches out there that are talking about this and finding freedom in their congregations. This is awesome! But there is still much more work we can do.

This issue becomes more complicated if (and when) we’re talking about the lead pastor of a church also being the one who is struggling. And I wonder if in many ways this enables a congregation to go silent when their Shepherd is secretly addicted?

In my experience, pastors and churches are way under equipped to be able to address this issue in a healthy way. They lack the resources, tools, finances, and sadly, the passion to know what to do.

I think it first starts with a sheer desire to see your life and the life of your congregation healthy & whole. Passion & conviction could be a whole other article, so we won’t go there today. But let’s assume if a pastor and a church is ready to tackle this issue head on, what do they do?

Enter Live Free: A private community for men seeking freedom from porn and lust. I can’t say enough good things about this ministry. And it’s not only because I’m a leader of one of the many support groups they offer for men. Live Free offers an incredibly unique experience for men. Offering weekly online support groups at virtually any time you need as well as additional community through the Live Free app you can download on any platform. Founder & executive director Carl Thomas has really created a quality opportunity for men to find freedom & community!

Along with Live Free, there are countless ministries (including this one) out there that are trying to help individuals find freedom every day. But I believe in the church it will only happen when someone decides to starts the conversation. It takes courage, conviction, and leadership to step out and be the first one. Let us at Purity For Life help you do that.

Here are some additional resources to help:

Holiday Purity Tips: Remember Your Story

In this holiday purity tip from Pure Gold, Frank shares about the importance of remembering our stories in recovery. He also shares his story for all those who have never heard it before. It is truly by the grace of God that Frank found freedom from porn addiction and continues to grow healthier today! You can also hear his story by going to the “About” menu on Purity For Life’s website.


If you and your spouse are struggling and would like help on your journey, please feel free to contact us! Or, if you’re a wife and need some extra help from another wife who’s walked through what you have, head on over to the “Support for Wives” section and shoot Tracey a a message by filling out the contact form. All communication is strictly confidential