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Are You Doing Accountability The Wrong Way?

Has someone talked to you about the importance of community recently?

How about the value of vulnerability?

I bet you’ve seen content on both subjects at least once in the last six months.

Interestingly enough – science has shown the percentage of people in this world without ANY confidants (not even one) has doubled in the last 20 years. Somehow, loneliness is on the rise. 

I talk to men regularly who struggle with pornography.

Each of their stories is unique, but one thing remains the same. 

The man has felt or currently feels lonely without fail. 

Then I ask… what have you done about it?

The answer usually includes one of the following:

-They told a trusted leader and never followed up with them

-No one in their friend circle can be trusted with the details of their struggle

-Tried an accountability partner system and it’s not working

All of these experiences can cause a lot of frustration, but I have a particular bone to pick about the accountability partner system that is so commonly preached.

Almost every guy I talk to that is looking to get free of porn has tried a form of accountability at some point.

Here are some examples:

  • A client of mine attended a workshop on freedom from lust and sexual sin. In the end, he was matched up with a stranger to be his accountability partner. They texted back and forth for about three weeks and haven’t communicated since.
  • A university student asked a respected leader in his community to be his accountability partner. The arrangement? He would text him after he watched porn and ask for prayer. The leader would write back, “praying for you!” This lasted for about three months. 
  • A friend created a penalty system. Every time he looked at porn, he had to give a $500 donation to a charitable organization! 

The upsetting part is that accountability is a good thing! When it’s done properly, it can be so helpful. But most of the systems out there are so lackluster that they usually make the problem much worse. 

Here are a few common mistakes that I see a lot of men making when it comes to accountability.


Source: XXXchurch

016: Developing Healthy Discipline(s) In Recovery

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Recovery from addiction is a battle fought on many fronts. There is not one key to freedom and healing, but a culmination of little & big decisions that a person must make to get healthy again. It’s developing a fierce tenacity and commitment to doing the right thing even if you slip up. But it’s also about putting the right practices in place to help you when you’re facing a battle. This week on the podcast, we talk about the discipline we must have in recovery & hear from a guest therapist about developing healthy disciplines to guide you along the way. Enjoy the podcast!


If you and your spouse are struggling and would like help on your journey, please feel free to contact us! Or, if you’re a wife and need some extra help from another wife who’s walked through what you have, head on over to the “Support for Wives” section and shoot Tracey a a message by filling out the contact form. All communication is strictly confidential.

Holiday Purity Tips: Stay Connected

Staying connected to your support people is so crucial during the holidays! We’re often surrounded by so many friends & family and yet we find ourselves struggling alone.

Make it your goal this holiday season to sit down with people who care about your heart & your recovery journey. Share with them how you’re doing, what questions you have, and seek the Lord together so you can become the man or woman that God wants you to be!

More holiday purity tips coming soon…


RESOURCE: Protecting Yourself Online with Covenant Eyes 👀

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One of many steps you must take in recovery if you want to find freedom and live with sexual integrity is protecting yourself online by using some kind of filtering or accountability software. In this podcast, Frank shares why this is so important for your health and recommends his favorite software that you should install today!


Show Notes:

  • Get Your First Month of Covenant Eyes FREE – Go here!
  • Why is online protection so important? See Proverbs 25:28

If you and your spouse are struggling and would like help on your journey, please feel free to contact us! Or, if you’re a wife and need some extra help from another wife who’s walked through what you have, head on over to the “Support for Wives” section and shoot Tracey a a message by filling out the contact form. All communication is strictly confidential.

Are you protecting yourself online?

Are you protecting yourself online?

Every day, countless numbers of men are getting caught in the trap that is pornography. Porn addiction only starts with one click and by the time that one click is performed, it’s almost always too late.  What if there was a way in which to protect yourself and your family from pornography and other kinds of dangerous content online?

Covenant Eyes offers an incredible two-fold solution for keeping yourself safe and protected online: Filtering and accountability. It will block the material online that is offensive and harmful while simultaneously sending reports of your online activity to those you choose.  It’s the double edged sword of web protection.

Interested in Covenant Eyes? Click here or on the banner above to sign up for CE and when you reach checkout enter the promo code purity17 to receive the first MONTH for FREE!