BONUS: Frank’s Story

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In this week’s bonus content from Pure Gold, Frank shares his story for all those who have never heard it before. It is truly by the grace of God that Frank found freedom from porn addiction and continues to grow healthier today! You can also hear his story by going to the “About” menu on Purity For Life’s website.


If you and your spouse are struggling and would like help on your journey, please feel free to contact us! Or, if you’re a wife and need some extra help from another wife who’s walked through what you have, head on over to the “Support for Wives” section and shoot Tracey a a message by filling out the contact form. All communication is strictly confidential.

6 Ways to Raise a Sex Addict

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In my seven years of counseling sex addicts and their wives, I’ve seen some common themes amongst the sex addicts’ families of origin. I’d like to share them with you today. Here are six ways to raise a sex addict.

In the chance that you’d rather focus on raising your child to live a life of sexual purity, I’ve included a link at the end of each of my six points so you can quickly access an alternative approach.

Create a home environment where emotions are not openly expressed.

Teach your kids that expressing feelings–such as fear, sadness, and insecurity–is weak. Sex addicts do not know how to appropriately express emotion which is why sex addiction is often called an intimacy disorder.

A great way to emotionally stunt your sons is to teach them that real men don’t cry. This will ensure that they learn to really bottle up those normal, healthy emotions. Instead their emotions may come out as anger, pushing away people who get too close.

Finally, avoiding conflict by always pretending everything is ok teaches kids to do the same. What to do with all the bottled up frustration? Don’t try to have a healthy discussion about it with the person who upset you. Escape the pain. Numb the feelings.

Instead of encouraging your kids to stuff their emotions, create a home of trust and openness.

You can read the rest of the article here.

Pastors: Do You Preach About Porn?

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PASTORS: Please read… A couple weeks ago, I posted a question on social media: Do you preach about porn in your church? Unfortunately, only one person responded, which leads me to believe many of you aren’t talking about this subject from the pulpit. Not because you don’t want to, but because you may not know HOW to.

The reality is if you haven’t addressed this subject (and not just by name), you’re really doing yourself (and ESPECIALLY your congregation) a disservice. You’re responsible to lead and shepherd your flock. The Bible calls us “the people of His pleasure”. Do you love your church that much that there’s nothing you would not talk to them about?

The article in this post is probably the most comprehensive resource I’ve ever read for pastors & ministry leaders in addressing pornography. I challenge each of you to read this article and implement the steps listed in your church. Start the conversation. Don’t bow to fear or criticism. Stand strong.

(And if you are the one who’s struggling with porn, it’s okay, you’re NOT alone. Contact me or go to pflhome.com for support on your journey.)

You can (and should) read the entire article here. Thanks Covenant Eyes!

005: How to Practice Gratefulness

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In this special Thanksgiving episode Frank shares the importance of practicing gratefulness in recovery and what he’s grateful for this year.


If you and your spouse are struggling and would like help on your journey, please feel free to contact us! Or, if you’re a wife and need some extra help from another wife who’s walked through what you have, head on over to the “Support for Wives” section and shoot Tracey a a message by filling out the contact form. All communication is strictly confidential.

Isolation is a Powerful Lie

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Thinking back on my days of active addiction, I remember what isolation felt like. It an odd sort of way, it felt safe. Secure. I was hidden from a world of judgement. No one knew about the sexually explicit material that I consumed. I was hidden (or at least I thought so) from dealing with the harsh realities of pain and the insecurities I felt about myself.

Little did I know for 13 years that all of this only fueled my addiction to pornography and kept me trapped. And there are so many today that live in that same sense of isolation — their stories waiting to be heard but only being buried down deeper and deeper. Friend – what feels like safety to you is actually pulling you further and further away from life. From love. From freedom. From health.

But as deep as you’re trying to bury yourself and hide yourself — hope is still within reach.

IF. YOU. WANT. IT.

Emerging from isolation is probably harder to face than even the addiction itself. The shame is so great. The fear is monumental. And yet, hope is still alive.

You can find hope, help, and healing for your journey at Purity For Life. There’s TONS of resources from podcasts to articles to videos here on the website that are meant to help you live with sexual integrity through Jesus Christ.

Welcome to the journey.