I Don’t Need Porn to Feel Loved

Awesome post over the weekend from Moral Revolution! I love the work they do in helping people live sexually healthy lives for God’s glory!

 

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Many people turn to porn and sex not because they want to, but because they want and need to feel loved and they don’t know any other way. You are lovable. You are worthy of love. You are easy to love. Reach out to a friend rather than porn and get what you need in a life-giving way.

173: Best Friends With Porn

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The Purity For Life podcast kicks off a new season this week with my story from sexual addiction to sexual recovery. If you haven’t heard my story before, this is a great place to start as you explore the website and all the resources from Purity For Life.

Audio:

Video:
If you and your spouse are struggling and would like help on your journey, please feel free to contact us! Or, if you’re a wife and need some extra help from another wife who’s walked through what you have, head on over to the “Support for Wives” section and shoot Tracey a a message by filling out the contact form. All communication is strictly confidential.

Am I Addicted to Porn?

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While I’m of the opinion that it should be pretty obvious to an individual whether an issue has become “life controlling”, for many it is not so obvious. Please forgive me 🙂 Regardless, I believe XXXchurch has come up with a great assessment test to help you understand if you’re addicted and to what level. We hope it’s helpful for you or for someone you love who’s potentially struggling with a sexual addiction.

Find the assessment here.

Making the Interception

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One of the most gut-wrenching plays that take place in a football game is when a pass that was meant to be completed is picked off by the opposing team. For all you non-sports people (like myself), we call this an interception. Interceptions seem to happen at the most unlikely times within in a game, even when the quarterback looks like he has everything under control. The bottom line: Interceptions have the potential to totally change the momentum on the field. One moment of playing a defensive position turns into an offensive opportunity with the possibility of scoring big!

Recently, I was watching a movie with my family and it was almost as if a light bulb went off in my brain. I wasn’t struggling with my thought life at that moment, but I realized that each and every single time I replace a sexual or negative thought with Scripture, prayer, or something truthful, then I’m making a HUGE interception in my thinking.

The dictionary defines the word “intercept” like this: “to take, seize, or halt or cut off from an intended destination.” Interceptions don’t just happen four months out of the year on the field. Every day, men are making interceptions in one of the most important places: their minds. Men are are going on the offense by making huge plays. How is that possible?

2 Corinthians 10:5 says it like this: “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. Granted, this can be difficult to do living in a sex-saturated culture with instant access to all kinds of media. But just because something is challenging doesn’t make it impossible.

A military definition of the word “interception” says it like this: “the engaging of an enemy force in an attempt to hinder or prevent it from carrying out its mission.” Impure, sexual thoughts are clearly an enemy force. The mission is clear: An impure thought — whether prompted by porn or lust — has the potential to take root in your mind urging you to act out in a sexual way, thus bringing out loads of shame, guilt, and isolation. How do we fight these intruding thoughts from their inception?

Take them CAPTIVE. In other words, make the INTERCEPTION.

In summary, what should the strategy look like in keeping our thought lives pure?

  1. Make the Interception – Identify the distraction, trigger, temptation, as soon as it crops up. Don’t be naive in thinking that just ignoring the thought will make it go away.
  2. Change the Direction – Once you’ve identified and intercepted the intruding thought, replace it with the truth, whether that be God’s Word, a lyric from a worship song, or talking to your Heavenly Father about it. By doing this, you’re shedding light upon it and it can’t hide.
  3. Score Big! – Repeat steps #1 & #2 as much as it takes! 🙂 Disciplining your thought life is a process that takes lots of practice. Remember that nothing that’s valuable (a pure thought life) and worth attaining comes easy.

Surely there’s a lot more to developing a healthy thought life than just these three steps, but we all have to start some where.

One last thought: While it doesn’t directly say this in Scripture, I believe that God knows that we’re going to have impure, distracting thoughts at times.  Especially if we’re in the thick of sexual addiction or coming out of it. And while that shouldn’t give us a pass to go wild in our heads, it should signify that God knows us — more than we know ourselves.  He knows we’re going to struggle, slip, and mess up a lot on this journey.

Having said that, in my experience of watching football, it only takes one interception that can lead to a game-changer. The same applies to you and I.

Porn and Mental Health: 10 Facts from the Experts

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Is porn use associated with greater mental health or the opposite? Here are 10 facts from the experts.

1. Multiple studies have shown that frequently viewing porn is correlated with more casual sexual partners, sex with friends, and sex at an earlier age. 1 2 3 4

2. According to a study of college-age men, the more men watch pornography, the more likely they are to have lower self esteem. 5

3. According to a study among adolescents, porn use is frequently associated with cheating on one’s girlfriend. 6

4. According to a study of Dutch adolescents, exposure to sexually explicit movies online is significantly correlated with the belief that women are sex objects. 7

5. According to another study in the Journal of Sex Research, the more frequent someone’s porn use is, the less satisfied they tend to be with sex and human relationships. 8

6. According to a study at the University of Sydney of 800 regular porn users, 20% said they prefer porn over sex with a partner. 9

7. According to a study published in the Journal of Sex Research, just as it is with those who have substance dependencies, porn use was shown to interfere with someone’s working memory capacity. 10

8. According to a study published in the journal Human Brain Mapping, when men view porn the regions of the brain called the thalamus and hypothalamus are significantly activated. These are the regions responsible for some of our core drives like food, water, and sex. This means when men view porn, it doesn’t register to them as something they just desire. Their brain experiences it as a survival need. 11

9. According to a study of youth ages 10 to 17, there’s a significant correlation between watching porn and feelings of loneliness and major depression. 12

10. According to a study of adolescents from Israel, boys who viewed more porn were less likely to have pro-social attitudes, meaning they were less likely to desire or actually be involved in behaviors that benefited society as a whole. 13

The evidence is clear. Consuming porn is associated with all kinds of mental health concerns. We deserve better as a society. Our kids deserve better. The women in our lives deserve better.

As commonplace as porn use is today, if porn made us healthier, we would be healthy by now.

Source: Covenant Eyes